ASSERTIVENESS: POWER UP

Do you feel that others take advantage of you? Or are you aggressive, meeting your own needs at the expense of others? Do you think you express your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in a direct, honest, and appropriate way? An assertive person effectively influences, listens, and negotiates so that others choose to cooperate willingly. Being assertive is one of the most important skills you can have. In your daily work communication, you need to be assertive when handling complaints, selling, negotiating, motivating, or delegating.

Directions: Consider the following statements and check the answer that describes your behavior in MOST situations.

	YES	NO
1. Others find it easy to take advantage of me.
2. I hesitate to speak up for fear others might consider me aggressive.
3. I sound as though I am asking a question when I am making a statement.
4. I preface my comments with disclaimers such as “I may be wrong” or “This might be a stupid question, but . . .”
5. I say too much and give too many details when I explain something.
6. I accept what I’m offered even when it’s not what I wanted or expected.
7. I avoid saying things I feel in order to keep the peace.
8. I downplay compliments when I receive them.
9. I allow myself to be pressured into making snap decisions.
10. I say yes when I want to say no.
11. I feel the need to invent excuses when I say no.
12. I remain silent when criticized or treated unfairly.
13. I allow myself to be inconvenienced in order to avoid conflicts.
14. I feel guilty when I say no.
15. I talk around the issue rather than express my feelings directly.
16. I make promises I later regret.
17. I respond impetuously rather than carefully choose my words.
18. I get angry at myself when I choose not to say things I should have said.
19. I respond defensively when unfairly criticized.
20. I lose my courage at the last moment and don’t say what I planned to say when I am faced with an awkward or threatening situation.

Total of YES responses: ____________

Scoring:

15–19 You are too timid.

7–14 You should be more assertive.

0–6 You are self-assured.

Assertiveness Tips

• Use “I” rather than “you” messages.

• Express feelings and needs without blame or punishment.

• Resolve issues immediately.

• Learn to say no without guilt.

• Keep control by speaking in a firm voice and maintaining a well-balanced posture.

• Focus objectively on the situation and do not get sidetracked.

• Express your case with conviction, but don’t neglect the position of the other person.

Personal Improvement Goals:

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