FOCUS ON OTHERS

Goal To focus on others during the communication process. Participants will try to use the word “you” more than the word “I” while speaking for specified periods of time.

Time Required Approximately 15 to 20 minutes

Group Size Subgroups of three persons each

Materials

• One sheet of blank paper and a pencil for each participant

• Stopwatch or clock with a second hand

PROCESS

1. Begin the activity by saying that it is often difficult for us to move away from our self interest when we interact or communicate with others. Explain that the participants will have an opportunity to practice focusing on others in a more conscious way.

2. Form subgroups of three persons each. Ask members of each group to count off as 1, 2, or 3.

3. Distribute one sheet of blank paper and a pencil to each participant. Ask the participants to make two columns on the paper and mark one column I and the other one You.

4. Explain that person 3 will be speaking to person 2 for 30 seconds about anything he or she would like to discuss. (Some suggested topics might be best vacation spots, favorite music, pets, hobbies, and so forth.) The object is to try to use the word “you” as much as possible and avoid using the word “I.” Person 1 will keep count of the number of times each word is used and record these by placing a check in the appropriate column on the paper.

5. Announce for groups to begin and time the task for 30 seconds. Stop the groups when time expires. Tell the recorders to turn their papers over until later.

6. Explain that person 2 will be speaking to person 1 for 1 minute about anything he or she would like to discuss while trying to use the word “you” as much as possible and avoiding the word “I.” Person 3 will keep count of the number of times each word is used and record these on the paper.

7. Announce for groups to begin and time the task for 1 minute. Stop the groups when time expires. Tell the recorders to turn their papers over until later.

8. Explain that person 1 will be speaking to person 3 for 2 minutes about anything he or she would like to discuss, using “you” as much as possible and avoiding the use of “I.” Person 2 will keep count of the words and record them.

9. Announce for groups to begin and time the task for 2 minutes. Stop the groups when time expires.

10. Ask the recorders from each group to report the usage of the words, starting with the 30-second time period and ending with the 2-minute time period.

11. Facilitate a large group discussion by asking the following questions:

• How did you feel while you were the person talking?

• Was it more or less difficult to avoid saying “I” when the time period was extended? Why?

• How do you feel when talking or listening to someone who constantly uses the word “I”?

• How can we phrase our communications to better focus on the other person?

• How does this activity relate to customer service?